Merry Christmas !!

I am in Edmonton, Canada for the Christmas week. It is darn cold out here where -30 seems to be a common temperature for most (uh oh :) ) But today even with this chill I feel particularly warm. I ponder for a while only to realise that it is the Christmas warmth all around me :)

Anywhere I see, I see light. Blues, reds and greens. Disparate colors yet the when they come together nothing could be more homogeneous. The picture is just too perfect. I am loving it :)

The pleasant sight of Mother Mary holding Jesus, Rudolph being hung on many doors, small children meddling around the hanging christmas socks and eagerly awaiting arrival of their dear Santa Claus is unparalleled. This festivity and merry brings nothing but a sense of calm. Reassuring that world is still a good place to live.

In current times when we hear of nothing but depressing economy, people of one religion killing others over god and land, I feel these festivities reinstate the fact that all religion preach goodness and prosperity for humanity in general.

Our ancestors strived hard to give us a world where we found love and peace. Our generation abused everything we inherited. If only we remember that the earth we live today is something that we have merely borrowed from our children then may be we will all stop this slaughter one day.

Here's hoping that we give our children an earth full of love and respect. Amen.
Merry X'mas to all.

Adios
-eL.

I am loved :)

Someone wrote this for me... just the right kind of thing when I felt unloved and uncared :)

You only dream about the perfect girl. She is usually a work of fiction, an artist's imagination, or a poet's verse. She lights up your day, and makes your heart jump with joy with every look at her. She is intelligent, beautiful and makes you feel alive.

Most lives are lived with only imagining such a beauty. Reading about her, watching her on screen, thinking about her in your dreams.

But i know of one such girl. She is strong and smart. Opinionated and emotional. She radiates a natural warmth that makes you fell happy to be around her. You long for her attention, and your day feels fulfilled even if she bestows upon u as much as a kind smile.

She has the beauty of the girl on the magazine at whom you can stare for hours. She sounds just like the song that fills your heart with joy and you have to listen to it over and over again. She smells like the fragrance that takes you home to a feeling of warmth and peace.

Ammu, you are that girl. You have the ability to make a thousands hearts bleed. It is impossible not to love you. It is impossible to ignore you. You have the words that captivate and the the personality that influences and the beauty that captures hearts.

With every day i know you, see you speak to u.. I am a better person.

:)

Chaand Bhi Dekha
Phool Bhi Dekha
Baadal Bijli Titli Jugnu
Koi Nahin Hai Aisa
Tera Husn Hai Jaisa

Meri Aankhon Ne Chuna Hai Tujhko Duniya Dekhkar
Kiska Chehra Ab Main Dekhoon
Tera Chehra Dekhkar

Simple is it yet the conveyed emotion feels complex.
Simple conundrum :)
I am amazed when the most simplest of words
come together to convey the most complex a feeling.
Words often fail me, I know.
Yet many choose them to potray their feelings.
But I can't potray my feeling. I just cant :-)
But the day I gauge the true essence of words,
I will cease to say that words are redundant.
They wont fail me ever.
I will convey myself to me.
Is it needed? Why do you care :)

Adios,
--eL

The Sukhatme Twin Towers ...

2007 was quite an eventful year. I started pursuing my Masters. In the due course made friends for life, learnt some lessons for life, became a better person and the list goes on. Come 2008, I was heading towards completing my masters degree and being a post graduate. But the most awaited event of 2008 was undoubtedly visiting the 'Twin Tower'.

I know United States lost their Twin Towers in 2001 and it was a wordly loss but my family got their 'personal' twin tower in 2007 in the form of Sukhatme Twins, Rajan and Tejas. The cynosure of Prajakta and Kedar Sukhatme's eyes :)

Before I start writing about them I must tell you all that these boys are real figters. Born when they were just 26 weeks old, they have fought the odds and survived and boy these guys have grown up to be such sweethearts :)

It is quite a pity that I got to meet my nephews only after such a long time. But like they say, better late than never.

The boys have pretty much kept me so happy in my short vacation that any words describing my happiness would sound redundant. What is so peculiar about them is that they are as much like each other as diametrically opposite ..

Rajan, I call him a funny guy. He is unintentionally so hilarious. The way he says 'uh oh' each time he attempts to do something 'forbidden' is just so cute. His face lits up with a 1000 watt smile when someone agrees to pick him up and his energy is so palpable. Today a funny incident happened with Rajan. He was looking behind at me and running forward and bang he goes into the wall. I thought 'thats it'. He is going to sink the world with this tears now but Rajan being the funny guy, turned back, looked at me and goes..' uh Oh' :D I cant say he is inquisitive because that doesnt do justice to his interests in things. Rajan redefines the word 'inquisitive'. I love him totally :)

Tejas, I call him the bholu ram and my cousin calls him Smarty Jones B-) .. Oh yea he definitely looks like a dude. His shy smile Im sure is going to give all the hollywood starkids a run for their money. Tejas is also the parrot of the Sukhatme family. Pretty much imitating everything and anything that we say in his childlike babble. Heard of Momma's boy may be but ever heard of Dadda's boy.. If not then here is an example. Tejas Sukhatme, I feel, is a complete Dadda's boy :) He is very tech savy unlike Rajan. You cant fool Tejas with a dysfunctional TV-remote .. He is smarter than you think he is :) and a complete darling for being such a non-fussy eater. Once you make him sit on his high chair with food he wouldnt get restless until he is full. My smarty jones is a sweetheart because he is such a charmer. Has managed to woo his Maasi with his dance moves already. I love him a lot :)

Life without kids may be good. But with them it seems complete. And when you have two such kids, Rajan and Tejas, it just adds more meaning to life.

Peace
--eL

Change of template ..

I visited my profile.. saw the black background and the white font .. got bored.

I think I need some colors in here.. I went thru the templates... didnt quite like any.. Thought the one that I have it on right now.. is comparatively better than the other ones ...

If any of my blogger friends can help me choose, I would be more than grateful.. If not then get used to it guys :)

Adios !!!

Peace,
--eL

Funny as it may sound...

Today I visited my blog profile after many days. I had this sudden urge of writing something. What, I really dont know.

Funny as it may sound but I still feel there are umpteen things my mind wishes to pen down defeated only by my will to not pen them down or may be worse .. I just dont know .. May be Im falling short of words :)

Funny as it may sound but my friends always thought I can manage to pretty much convey anything and everything(how correct and effective my communication is, I seldom know).. but today Im here sitting in front of the computer trying to figure out .. how should I communicate what I feel to myself.. * chuckles*

Funny as it may sound.. but I feel I should just go sleep.. despite my mind and body feeling too fresh for any nap..

Baah... guess I should just log off...

So..Adios !!!

--Peace
eL

Expectations

I am in my computing lab currently. Just had a brief conversation with my research guide.
I am feeling content ever since my professor and I have had a conversation about our research work.

The reason why I am content is because of the expectations my professor has from the research that my colleague and I are working on.

To think about it more logically I don't understand why most people including me crib at times about the work that we are supposed to do. 99.99% of the times I am certain you are assigned a particular job because you have the expertise and the intellectual aptitude to deliver more than 'expected'. And in case you think you lack both... then you have the determination to get things to a closure.

God...suddenly I feel, expectations are so goddamn good, professionally I mean :D

Not that I was oblivious to all this but at times we really are so easy on ourselves. We just want the shortest way out. Suddenly this thought is pinching me :)

My professor made a statement ..' We may have worked very little had we been mentored by someone else in our research. But more than work I(our professor) want you to feel that you have achieved something at the end of this course'.... Crystal clear. He made us work, re-work, read stuff we did not understand, compelled us to create an understanding and at times liking too(pssst) ...
but thinking of it in retrospect, all the effort has been worth it. I am sure we have learnt a lot. I may not be able to quantify what I learnt. But Im certain there has been qualitative improvement in my thought process.

Frankly it is all a game of perspectives. It all depends on you. How you want to percieve the work at hand. A challenge or burden. If it is the former for you, you grow and progress. And if it is the latter not that it would stunt your growth but certainly affect how effectively you progress.

In conclusion I feel it is good that people expect from me. It speaks volumes about my work and ability to deliver. Im glad I have the right perspective.

Peace
--eL

Bachna Ae Haseeno

Current Favorite: Khuda Jaane
Singers: KK and Shilpa Rao

Review: Simply awesome.
Highlights of the song: The music, lyrics and KK ofcourse :)

URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho0yGsMecco

...

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like a volcano and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconcievable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.



Peace
--eL

Choices ...

Whatever battles raging inside us, we always have a choice to do whats right. It's our choices that make us what we are... - Spiderman


This is so true.... Something that Mukund told me a month ago. No matter how good or bad you are, you will always be judged based on your actions.

Your choices can make you or break you. I truly believe now that your actions define your character and inner strength. Not what you wanted to do but what you do, determines who you are and what you will be in the future :)



--Peace
eL

New Beginning ...

A new day has...come


I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear


Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you


Hush, love


I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun
A new day has...come


Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy


Hush, love


I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun
A new day has...come


A new day has...come
Ohhh, a light... OOh

I am a proud Mother :)

On July 7th in 2003 my daughter, Pritika was born. Was I happy or what when I first held her when she was just a few minutes old. The feeling of holding a whole new life in your hand is an unparalleled feeling I must say.

Okay I am sure some of them are now confused considering I am single and was never married .. But yes I still am a Mother... a proud Mother of Pritika Uchil, my niece, who turns 5 year old tomorrow.

I am missing her a lot. I wish I was in India celebrating her birthday with my folks. But since that is not possible I thought why not I write something about our relationship just to make the occasion special.

I havn't experienced child birth but I am sure motherhood is an exhilarating feeling. Pritika and I share a very special bond. Even today when I call her, the sheer excitement in her voice when she knows I have called makes me feel very content. I know, there is someone who truly loves me selflessly. Ofcourse my family loves me. But Pritika.. yea she is different for me :)

I am concerned for her. For the past 3 years the girl seem to be troubled with a,b,c,d's and numbers 1-10. After watching Taare Zameen Par, my mother and I exchanged stares coz we both thought for an instance that Pritika is suffering from dyslexia :O But she is not ..Period :)

She is a very sharp kid. She loves colors. Shapes and Fashion. Oh yea... Fashion :D

She has her monthly flavors. Current is Lara Dutta I suppose and the last one was Aishwrya Rai.

Pritika has always been more fond of me than her mother * laughs devilishly* I take pride in saying this. But her father wins hands down against anyone when it comes to her attention .. * Grrrr ... Im frowning *

I have loved the feeling of staying awake all night just to put her to sleep. Crying each time she fell and hurt herself. Feel proud when she colors everything except the animal in her drawing book which should be painted, I like when she says..' Maasi, this tshirt is not looking nice...
Absolutely love it when she says,'Maasi, you are hot' :D

Im her role model, mom tells me... and I think this brings onto me a lot of responsibility.

A responsibility of making her a responsible citizen of the society.
And a bigger responsibility of letting her be Her ...

I have a feeling the post further on will get tad bit emotional and too personal.. Something I wouldnt like to share.


This post is incomplete without this...

Many, Many Happy Returns of the Day Baby Love... May all your dreams come true ... !!!

--Peace
eL

You and Me

You and me, we like the same kind of music
That's why we, make a good you and me
We got style, baby we know how to use it
That's why we, make a good you and me

You know what I'm going to say before my mouth even makes a sound
And that's why we make a good you and me

You and me, we couldn't stand being normal
That's why we, make a good you and me
We both laugh, at the most random situations
That's the key, baby don't you agree?

You know what I'm going to say before my mouth even makes a sound
And that's why we make a good you and me
I know from the sound of your breathing exactly what you are feeling
This is why we make a good you and me
Make a good you and me
You and me

You and me, all we need is each other
That's why we, make a good you and me

--Peace
eL

Akele Hai.....

I like this song....and it holds a very special meaning in my life ... Guess it needs a mention here :)


अकेले है तो क्या गम है
चाहे तो हमारे बस मे क्या नही
बस एक जरा साथ हो तेरा
तेरे तो है हम, कब से सनम

अब यह नही सपना यह सब है अपना
यह जहाँ प्यार का, छोटा सा यह आशियाँ बहार का
बस एक जरा साथ हो तेरा

फ़िर नै टूटेगा हम पे कोई तूफ़ान
साजना देखना, हर तूफ़ान का मैं करुँगी सामना
बस एक जरा साथ हो तेरा

अब तो मेरे साजन बीतेगा हर दिन
प्यार की बाहों मे, रंग जायेगी रुत तेरी अदाओं मे
बस एक जरा साथ हो तेरा



--Peace
eL

How about.... Hi :)

Why I feel people blog (many may beg to differ) is because it is a non responsive medium where you can pen down what you feel... without the fear of being judged... ridiculed ..laughed at.
Ofcourse blogs are critiqued but does it matter :)

It acts like that 'friend' who just listens to you when you want him too(I take the liberty to consider blog as a masculine gender for two reasons, one, generally I am better friends with men than women and second, I feel God is man).

Everyone thinks and this ain't no rocket science but people express their feelings and emotions in different ways .. like some blog...and so will I... Period :)

New to blogging ... New to writing.... and I am liking it.

I have had this awesome mix of logic and emotions in my life for the past 3 years... that pretty much xplains the title of my blog.

Im very opinionated... I can handle healthy criticism... I believe in the utopic concept of love... n also that 'In love' concept exists just in the initial stages of courtship...what remains later is just love..

If anyone begs to differ ... me got no problems... But I will definitely have a problem with someone coming and telling me what I think is wrong.

I may sound rude but then thats just me :)

Adios for now.

--eL

P.S: I almost forgot.... Hi :)